Listen to the full episode here.
Rhonda Britten: You’re listening to Master Coach Mindset with Rhonda Britten, the Holiday Edition, episode one, brought to you by the Fearless Living Institute.
Welcome to Master Coach Mindset, a Master Class in the Art of Coaching. Hi, my name is Rhonda Britten and I’m an Emmy Award–winner, four-time best selling author and a Master Life Coach since 1995. Each week I’ll be sharing tips, tools and techniques that will uplevel your skills, increase your confidence, turning you into a Master Coach.
Hi, welcome to Master Coach Mindset, a special holiday edition. I’m your host Rhonda Britten and I am so excited to be talking to you as a coach, coach to coach, about the holidays. Because this time of year is not only extremely stressful for our clients, but it’s extremely stressful for us too. So I want to give you some tips and tricks in order to help your holiday go smooth.
Number one, be gentle with yourself. That’s right, because as you become more aware and as you want to be a better and better coach, maybe even a Master Coach, be the best coach you can be, you are actually going to get triggered more, not less. That’s right, you’re going to be triggered more, not less. Because you’re going to start noticing when you’re impatient more than normal, you’re going to start noticing when you feel judgmental, you’re going to start noticing, quote unquote “behavior that you’re not particularly proud of.” You’re going to start noticing your thoughts at a more expansive level and those feelings are going to come up, probably a little bit more high and low.
So number one, be gentle. What does that mean? Be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself and see your innocence. You know, it’s the holiday season and whether your religion is Buddhist, whether it’s Jewish, whether it’s Christian, etcetera, etcetera. Let’s just for this moment use the baby Jesus. And again, please forgive me if you are a different religion. But I’m just going to use the baby Jesus as an example. The baby Jesus, we see his innocence. We don’t expect him to be anything but a baby. We don’t expect him … Actually even what would a king look like? We don’t even know what that’s going to look like but all we know is that we give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s here for a purpose and for a reason and that we see his innocence. He’s an innocent child.
Well, the same applies to you. You’re innocent. I don’t care how sophisticated you are, how intelligent you are, how knowledgeable you are, how educated you are, you too at the core are innocent. Because nobody taught us how to deal with our feelings or thoughts, no one taught us how fear works, no one taught us how to process our emotions as we are growing up. At least they didn’t teach me and I bet they didn’t teach you. So this holiday season, in order to be gentle and kind with yourself, see your own innocence. And oh by the way, this will really help with family and friends as well. And clients, when you’re feeling judgmental, irritated, annoyed with them, see their innocence, be gentle and be kind.
Number two, learn to say no. I know it’s really hard to say no during the holiday season, but everyone’s asking us to do everything. Maybe your clients have actually said, “You know what, I don’t want any sessions during the holiday season.” But you also are highly aware that your clients are maybe going through some difficult times themselves. So not only be willing to say no to sessions, but also be willing to say, “No. You know what, I’m actually going to check in with you.” Follow your intuition and say no. Whether it’s no to yourself or whether it’s no to others, but be willing to say now.
We only have so much energy, and for the sake of the conversation, let’s say we have 100 units of energy, you only have 100 units of energy a day. And again, I’m making just a literal example. Excuse me, not a literal example, just an example, so don’t get caught up with the 100 units of energy. But just be like, “Okay, if I had 100 units of energy,” you only have so much. And with every expectation, less energy. With every promise you made that you don’t want to keep, less energy. And so when you have less and less energy based on what’s coming at you, then you actually don’t have a fortitude to make decisions that are right for you. You actually lose your will power and you lose your ability to make choice. So I want you to commit now to say no. No to things that don’t serve you, no to things that don’t matter, no to expectations of others, including yourself, including your family, including your friends and including your clients. So learn and practice saying no this holiday season.
Number three, every time that you feel stressed and irritated, stop. Every time you feel stressed and irritated, stop. I want you to stop whatever you’re doing, get into the bathroom and take a nice deep breath. Make a commitment to yourself to make no decisions when you’re stressed, no decisions when you’re stressed. Instead, the minute you’re stressed, feeling overwhelmed, feeling anxious, I want you to stop whatever you’re doing, the minute you feel that, and I want you to get yourself in the bathroom and I want you just to breath.
In order to feel happy during this holiday season, we have to be in touch with ourselves, we have to feel connected with our inner core. And when you’re stressed, overwhelmed or anxious, we’re not. We’re actually trying to fend off the outer world. And I want you to get back inside, get centered and stay true to you. So get in the bathroom and breath until you get back to center.
Number four, be willing to discover your process. Remember at the beginning of this session today, or should I say podcast, we were talking about your process. The more that you are willing to become aware, the more triggered you actually may become. That’s the fallacy, we think, “Oh, I’m working so hard on myself. I should become triggered less.” No, when you first start working on yourself or go to the next level, wherever that is, you’re actually going to be triggered more. Because why? You are having more discernment, you’re having more refinement. You’re starting to become awake to different levels of who you really are, what you really think and how you really behave.
So when we are ignorant, when we are asleep, we’re not aware of those things and we have a tendency to blame the world, blame our family and friends for the way the holidays go, blame our clients for them being so needy. We blame, blame, blame because we don’t want to see it in ourselves that we’re the ones saying yes to all that, we’re the ones that are participating in all that. So again, I want to say congratulations for being willing to say, “You know what, I do want to become more awake. I want more discernment in my life and I want to be more refined and in body and integrate.” Well, with that, you’re going to get triggered more. So this holiday season, I want you to put it all under the guise of understanding how you process.
Well, how do you process when your mother or father or cousin, or sister, or boyfriend, or mate, or partner ask you to do something when every hair in your arm sticks up and you know you don’t want to do it but you feel obligated to say yes? See how it feels. Now, don’t blame them for asking, don’t say, “Oh, they should know I’m busy.” No, anybody can ask anything they want, it’s up to you whether to say yes or no. So take your time, take your time. You don’t have to answer anything yes or no right away. You can actually say, “Let me get back to you tomorrow.” And if they pressure you, the answer’s no. So again, use this holiday season to understand you better. And in that quest, you’ll actually learn how to love yourself better and accept yourself better.
Number five, I want you to come up with an intention statement that will support you moving to the holidays. Now, whether that’s, “I’m willing to practice loving my process or I’m willing to practice having compassion for myself and others or I’m willing to practice connecting no matter what or I’m willing to put myself first in every situation,” I don’t know what your intention is. But the only way when we’re learning and growing and shifting and changing. And if you’re listening to Master Coach Mindset, I know that’s what you’re committed to, than that intention statement is going to help keep you focused and centered on what matters most.
So come up with an intention statement that you can use no matter whether you’re alone, whether you’re with your family, whether you’re with your partner, whether you’re with your kids, whether with your extended family, wherever you are. Whether you’re shopping or not shopping. So get an intention statement and what do you want to focus on this holiday season? What do you want to use as your radar, as your center, as your focus? And then use that to decide everything and to help refine and define who you really are.
I just want to remind you that this holiday season is your greatest time of involvement so use it to your benefit and grow and change and awaken yourself. Allow yourself to live a life your soul intended. This is just one of many special holiday editions of Master Coach Mindset so I will see you at the next episode.
Are you serious about becoming a Master Coach? Do you want to learn the eight coaching skills that I teach my own certified Fearless Living coaches? Until now, these eight coaching skills are reserved for students in my life coach certification program. But now, I’m going to teach them to you. Join me at my three-day live event, Fearless Conversations Workshop for Coaches only. If you’re ready to get serious about becoming a seven-figure Master Coach, go to mastercoachmindset.com to learn more. And be sure to save your seat today. Seating is limited so grab your seat at mastercoachmindset.com. This has been an episode of Master Coach Mindset brought to you by the Fearless Living Institute. If you know someone who could benefit from today’s episode, please share it with them. I know they’ll be grateful. Until next time, be fearless.