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You’re listening to Master Coach Mindset™ with Rhonda Britten, episode number one brought to you by the Fearless Living Institute™.
Hello and welcome to Master Coach Mindset™ with Rhonda Britten. I’m so excited to be your host. I love coaching, and that’s what we’re going to be talking about because this podcast is devoted to the tips, tools, and skills to increase your confidence, impact, and influence as a coach. Bottom line we want to make good coaches great, because like I said, fanatical about coaching.
Today’s episode is part one of a 13-part series, and that’s my cat. Today’s episode is part one of a 13-part series based on my Master Coach Manifesto™, and not only are we going to have the topic of that first part of the Manifesto, because it’s 13 “lines”. We’re going to do part one today. We’re also in every episode going to give you a coaching tip as well as a Fearbuser Exercise™ to help you actualize what we’re talking about. Then of course I have questions from coaches. I have tons of coaching questions, so excited to get to some of the questions that of course are relevant to our topic of the day. So shall we get to it? I say, “Yay.”
The first part of the Master Coach Manifesto™ is the following, and this is what we’re going to focus on today. A Master Coach knows their own internal work is the foundation of their coaching practice, guaranteeing deep healing and authentic awakening for themselves and their client. I’m going to read that one more time because I want you to really wrap your head around it. When I’m sharing things with you today, it’s not about getting in your brain, it’s about getting it in your body. I know some of these things you may feel like you know, but I want you to put your knowing aside.
It actually is relevant to the topic of the day because your own internal work as a Master Coach is the key for you to actually be a Master Coach. That’s really one of the big differences between a beginning coach, a decent coach, a good coach, and a Master Coach, because let’s face it, beginning coaches, maybe they’ve had five, 10, 15 clients. Some people are naturally good at being a coach, but even with just 10, 15, 20 clients under your belt I would still categorize you as a beginning coach. It really takes years of one-on-one coaching to actually become masterful, and one of the things that is so critical to that is your own internal work.
I’m going to read that again. I just want you to shut your eyes if you’re able. If you’re in the car do not shut your eyes. Do not shut your eyes if you are in the car. Don’t do that, and if you are some place that you can shut your eyes, even if you’re on the treadmill, just go ahead and shut your eyes while you’re listening to the phrase, because again, I don’t want you to know it. I want you to embody it, and that’s really what this podcast is all about. I want you to embody what we’re talking about, not just intellectually know things, because you’re smart. I know you’re smart. You’re already smart, right? You’ve already studied. You’re doing the work. I get it. Now, we want to go a little deeper together. Let me just read that over again. Go ahead and shut your eyes if you’re able, and if you’re driving do not shut your eyes.
A Master Coach knows their own internal work is the foundation of their coaching practice, guaranteeing deep healing and authentic awakening for themselves and their client. I don’t know about you, but that’s why I became a coach because to me what a coach really represents, what I view as the gift I receive from being a coach is I have the honor and privilege, and I do mean privilege, of watching a soul unfold. Before me when a client comes to me, when a client comes to you, they’re vulnerable. They’re probably afraid. They have a problem that needs to be solved. They have something that’s bugging them. They want to achieve a goal and haven’t yet. You always must remember that vulnerability is at the heart of our coach and client relationship. The internal work you do, the work that you do to help heal yourself and awaken your soul is going to give you the knowing, the compassion, the understanding, the connection to be one with that client.
There’s a lot of coaches that just call themselves coaches, and there are a lot of people that call themselves coaches that do not have and have not done the internal work that’s necessary in order to be great coaches. Now, can coaches have a practice and not do the internal work? Sure. Sure. Absolutely. If you have a 12-week program or you’re doing something with a particular topic, you have a very defined niche and you don’t want to go deep and you just want to get your client going, awesome, great, but I definitely would call that a beginner coach. I don’t even care if you’ve been coaching 20 years. If you’re at that place of not doing internal work regardless of how long you’ve been doing it, you’re a beginning coach because you can’t take your client where you want your client, where your client really wants to go, where your client really wants to go. Cannot say that again, because your client is not giving you a ton of cash just to solve a problem.
Yes, I know on the surface that’s what it looks like, but you and I know differently. They’re wanting to unleash themselves. They’re wanting to unleash their freedom, and your capacity to be with that unleashing is based on your capacity to do it for yourself. The internal work that we have the privilege of doing, and I do mean privilege. It doesn’t have to be scary to do your own work, and I know it is. Don’t get me wrong, I know it is. Okay, I know it is. Trust me. I have done a lot of internal work, and some of it was really gut-wrenching. There were years of my life that I suffered and I went through a dark night for five years after my biggest fame. After my parents died I was suicidal and alcoholic. I get it. We have to remember that our client comes to us with a particular problem, yes. Wanting a particular dream to happen, yes. But what they’re always really coming for underneath is to be in touch with their true nature, to be in touch with themselves, right?
That’s why the importance of internal work is so critical. Our ability to harness our own emotional life, be awake to how we operate, to how we operate as human beings, to face the emotional challenges that come up, and we have the courage to have difficult conversations. Yes, we have to have the difficult conversations. Your practice guarantees that you are going to walk that path based on your devotion to being the best coach you can be.
I’m going to step back for a minute. I think the first question I have to ask you is: How devoted are you to being the best coach you can be? If it’s just a moneys game, if it’s just a numbers game, and again, we all have to deal with the money and the numbers. That’s part and parcel of owning a business. That’s part and parcel of actually expanding our energy to become a manifestor, to become an attractor, to become all of us. We can’t deny the money or the numbers, and I think why most of us became coaches is because we’re self-help junkies, we’re personal development junkies, we’re book junkies, we’re workshop junkies, we’re therapy junkies. We are searching to live more true to ourselves.
Well, that’s the internal work I’m talking about. The work that you’ve done with yourself for yourself to get you here is exactly the work needed and necessary for you to become the best coach you can be, right? Your most perfect client is someone who is walking on the same path as you, may not be exact of course, but on a similar path than you and you are a little bit ahead or a lot ahead.
People ask me all the time, coaches ask me all the time, “Well Rhonda, can I coach something that I know nothing about?” This internal work is the key to being able to actually coach just about anything, because the difference, I am just laughing so hard right now because my cat is, my cat wants to be a superstar in this podcast. She is relentlessly trying to get my attention. Okay, if you have a video close by of this podcast you definitely going to want to go watch it because my cat is just dancing and jumping and doing crazy things. Okay, you know a little bit about me. I have a cat. Yes, I do. It was a really good decision by the way. It helped me with my internal work, so that’s another point I’ll make later.
Clients, coaches ask me all the time: Can they coach something that they’re not experts at? The answer is yes, and it’s because of the internal work that you do that you can coach something that you don’t know much about because the internal work is what they’re really craving. The internal work is the connection to the solution that they want to have regardless of whatever topic you’re talking about. Whether you’re a health coach, whether you’re a business coach, whether you’re a money coach, whether you’re a love coach, the internal work that you do and I do with ourselves first and then with our clients is actually the work that allows the money to come, allows the health to be achieved, allows a business to grow.
Our clients are coming to us based on, “I want to make more money,” or, “I want to get healthier or lose weight,” or, “I want to find love.” They’re coming to us with a problem, right? But again I’ll repeat myself: The internal work is what they crave, and it’s what is needed and necessary in order for them to achieve whatever they want to achieve because tasks alone won’t get you there. You and I both know the reason this is called Master Coach Mindset™ is that not only does our mindset have to be in the right place, we support our client’s mindset to be in the right place.
Master Coaches aren’t afraid of their own feelings or their feelings of their clients. Master Coaches aren’t afraid to hear a story about pretty much anything. A Master Coach can sit with a client, listen to a client, be on video with a client, and literally be there for them and not be in their own stuff. I think that’s a big difference between a beginning coach and a Master Coach. A beginning coach is still in their brain when they’re coaching, right? “Should I ask that? What should I do? Should I say that? Oh gosh, what are they doing? Oh my god, am I thinking? Ah.” Right? As a Master Coach, you actually have an ability to shut that off completely because you are so present and centered with your client because of your own internal work that you can actually allow your client to unfold at a deeper and more expansive place and way and more authentically.
A little test for you to see how you’re doing in the Master Coach realm based on this first line in the Master Coach Manifesto™, your internal work. Here’s some of the questions I want you to ask yourself: Are you okay with being present with feelings? Your own first, and then with others. Are you okay with being triggered on a call, and can you stay moving forward? Does your stuff get in the way of your coaching? These are some of the simple questions that you must ask yourself to determine if there’s internal work for you to do.
Now again, we become coaches, most of us, myself included, because we’re self-help junkies. I am, too. I’ve been reading self-help since I was 12, but now it’s about actualizing and manifesting and embodying and aligning and integrating. These are the things coaches do. Coaches introduce, but they introduce based on alignment, right?
Most Master Coaches aren’t afraid of feelings or their emotions. They aren’t afraid to say something wrong. They don’t stop themselves from saying what needs to be said. They have the courage to speak up when moved, and they have the courage to be silent when called to. Every coaching session is an opportunity to trust, to practice trust of ourselves as coaches, to trust our own intuition, to trust our intention in the session, to trust the client. When we do our own internal work this gives us the foundation of being able to practice these things. If you find yourself having self talk, if you find yourself not understanding your own emotional life when it comes to feelings, if you find yourself reacting to things in your own life in ways that you’re not proud of and you’re doing that on a scale of 1 to 10, 5 and above, then you’ve got some internal work to do. Again, all of us do, and you want to be awake. You want to be awake to what that is. You want to be awake that you’re actively pursuing internal work each and every day.
This is why this is step one in the Master Coach Manifesto™. Our own internal work, so we can stay clear, stay pure, and stay present for our clients. I’m going to repeat that again. It’s why this is step on in the Master Coach Manifesto™™, to stay clear and pure and present for our clients. This is always on some level about our own work, and the coaching session is not about us at all. Zero. A coach always, just for inner work, your job as a coach is to always have a coach, have a mentor, have somebody that is supporting you and guiding you. I think one of the key things that we do in my own Fearless Living Institute’s Life Coach Certification Program™, which I am so proud of, we are probably the most rigorous Life Coach Certification Program™ out there. It’s because we have supervised mentoring, 12 months of supervised mentoring, 24-plus sessions of one-on-one customized individual feedback, because in order to do our own internal work we need some support, guidance, wisdom, spiritual ahas, right? We need that.
If you do not have a coach or you do not have a mentor, I really encourage you to open your heart and open your mind to what that could look like in your life. Just be open. I bet in the next 24 hours, next seven days, definitely in the next 30 days you’re probably going to meet somebody, run into somebody, have somebody pop into your mind, maybe even me, that is, “Okay, I want to coach with her. I want to learn from her. I want what he or she has.” I invite you to start coaching in earnest with another mentor/coach.
Your Fearbuser Exercise™ today is going to be a series of questions that I have for you in order to support you in the internal work of being a coach. Make sure that you go to MasterCoachMindset.com, MasterCoachMindset.com, and there you’re going to be able to download the Fearbuster worksheet for today’s Fearbuser Exercise™ along with the transcript. You want to make sure to go to Master Coach Mindset™ to download the Fearbuser Exercise™ and the transcript for today’s episode.
But before we complete, I want to make sure that I answer one of the questions that I’ve been asked. My hundreds of questions here that I’ve been asked, and I pulled out a couple. I don’t like to come up with the answer. I just like to read the question then come up with the answer. This is live. I pulled out a couple that I thought were relevant to today’s topic.
Question from a coach who actually is a first year in her coaching practice and she asked me, “Rhonda, what should we do if our personal values conflict with our client’s? How do you set aside something you believe in so strongly?” Repeat that question. What should we do if our personal values conflict with our client’s, and how do you set aside something you believe in so strongly?
Well, that’s a great question. I’m going to talk about two different types of coaches. The coaches that need everyone and all their clients to align with their belief systems, with their value systems. For instance, if you are a Christian and you’re pro life, if you only want to work with Christian women that are also pro life, awesome. Know it, nothing wrong with that, knock yourself out. If you have a particular thing that you strongly believe in and it is part of your coaching, then awesome. You can completely coach that. You can completely be in alignment with somebody with who has exact same values as you. That’s one type of coach, that, “You know what? I’m Christian, I’m pro life, that’s my niche. Those are the women I want to work with, and therefore everybody is aligned with me on some level of one of my greatest values.”
But let’s say that you want to be the second type of coach, which is the type of coach I am. The type of coach I am is you can come to me with any value you have. You can come to me with any belief system you have. You can come to me with any problem you have, because I’m going to support you based on my own inner work being the foundation of everything, my own deep healing and my own authentic awakening constantly being cultivated and courted, right? Cultivated and courted. I’m always cultivating more healing, I’m always courting more authentic awakening, because it doesn’t happen once people, doesn’t happen once. It happens over and over and over and you get deeper and deeper and deeper, and you find out who you are again and again and again and again. It’s not a one-time thing, it’s a always thing, right?
The second type of coach, like I am, is your values and I can differ, but we have one thing the same. That one thing the same is I have a commitment to support you in more freedom, and I have a commitment for you to live more authentically as you. That’s my commitment. I want you to be fearless, and not fearless in I don’t have any fear. In Fearless Living® we don’t believe that people don’t have fear, right? We don’t believe that. We believe that in our neurobiology that fear is a given, and being fearless is actually the willingness to understand, process fear, and then master it.
When a client comes to me, I know that there’s fear at the heart of something. I know that they want to live more true to themselves regardless if it’s increasing their income three times or losing weight. It doesn’t matter what problem they come to me with. They want more of themselves, right? They want more of themselves to show up, they want more authentic self to show up, they want to be more free, more fearless in who they want to show up as, how they want to shine. Somebody can come into my on the phone call, whether I’m on the phone call or whether I’m on video with them, and I’ve had sessions one-on-one in person. Let’s say that they’re have a different value system than I do. My job is not to change their value system to become mine; my job is to help them embrace their value system and to make sure it is authentically them.
One of the things that I believe is that to be more free some of the values that we hold is that it’s more open minded, more open hearted, more love, more expression, more speaking up. That’s, regardless of what my client’s values are, those are the things that I care about. If I focus on the things that the client wants rather than the quote/unquote value, i.e. believe in abortion or don’t believe in abortion, believe in God, don’t believe in God.
If I’m talking to the woman or the man and I’m focusing on what they really want, then they get really clear on whether those beliefs work for them or not, or how those beliefs may differ for other people. They’re going to come to that conclusion, not me. If somebody stands before me and has a different value system that I don’t agree with or don’t believe in or don’t subscribe to, it’s not about me. It’s about my client, and it’s about supporting them to live their true life, their authentic life, and to live it more fully, more free, and more fearlessly with confidence, courage, compassion, and clarity, because that’s what I give in each and every session. More courage, more confidence, more compassion, and more clarity.
Great question. I’m running out of time, so we will keep going in our next podcast. Again, you’ve been listening to the Master Coach Mindset™ podcast with Rhonda Britten. I’m so honored to be your host, and be sure to go to MasterCoachMindset.com to download the worksheet for today’s Fearbuser Exercise™ along with the transcript. The Fearbuser Exercise™ is going to be a series of questions that you can ask yourself to help you check yourself about your own internal work and to help you go deeper in your own healing and to authentically awake.
Heck, why not go to the MasterCoachMindset.com right now and download the transcript and the Fearbuser Exercise™? I know that it’s going to support you not only to become a better you, but to more importantly, for this podcast, to become a better coach. This has been Rhonda Britten. Thank you so much for listening.
I’ll look forward to talking to you in episode two about our next section of the Master Coach Manifesto™, and in our episode two I’m going to be talking about a Master Coach doesn’t judge time or results but uses a different set of criteria to determine success. In episode two I’m going to be talking about a Master Coach doesn’t judge time or results but uses a different set of criteria to determine success. We’re going to talk about what success is and what success means, my definition of success, and maybe help you understand your definition of success better, and of course our client’s definition. I’ll look forward to seeing you in episode two of Master Coach Mindset™ with Rhonda Britten.
Are you serious about becoming a Master Coach? Do you want to learn the eight coaching skills that I teach my own certified Fearless Living® coaches? Until now, these eight coaching skills were reserved for students in my Life Coach Certification Program™, but now I’m going to teach them to you. Join me at my three day live event Fearless Conversations workshop for coaches only. If you’re ready to get serious about becoming a seven-figure Master Coach, go to MasterCoachMindset.com to learn more, and be sure to save your seat today. Seating is limited, so grab your seat at MasterCoachMindset.com. This has been an episode of Master Coach Mindset™ brought to you by the Fearless Living Institute™. If you know someone who could benefit from today’s episode please share it with them. I know they’ll be grateful. Until next time, be fearless.